Jamaican woman trying to conceive

Regular old me

readytobeaparent — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:23:59 +0000

So I’m unofficially 6 weeks today and….nothing. I’m still just regular old me. Well except for the boobs that hurt like a bitch, the fatigue that makes me go to bed from 8 at night and the bitchiness that keeps my b/f on his toes. Wait, nah, the bitchiness is not part of being pregnant, it’s how I was before. Seriously.

Not much has happened in the past few weeks. My appetite is gone but I don’t have any nausea or anything. As a matter fact, during the days when I’m not tired and I have a good bra on, I wonder if maybe I’m really NOT pregnant and my period has just gone on vacation.

Anyhow, need to get back to class. TTYL.

My thoughts are jumbled right now..but I’m still pregnant

readytobeaparent — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:21:47 +0000

Wow…haven’t posted here since my big scare. And apparently that’s all it was, a scare. I felt like AF was coming and I panicked. But she is yet to appear and so I’m cautiously happy at the moment.

I can’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now, but it’s certainly not the way I expected to feel. For one, I don’t feel pregnant at all. I mean, I know I am. AF not turning up and numerous + HPTs have pretty much confirmed it, but still.

There are so many things I want to say but my thoughts are so jumbled right now. Pregnancy brain already? I want to tell you that I changed my dr, that I think I’m having a boy, that I figured out that I had a chemical pg last month, that my boobs hurt and I get tired easily, that I don’t know where I’m going to have this baby, that my new dr is about 1 hr and 15 mins away from where I live… See what I mean? Totally jumbled.

I have my first u/s (ultrasound) on December 2, I can’t wait!

I knew it was too good to be true

readytobeaparent — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:48:00 +0000

So I woke up this morning feeling really good. My temps were up, and I got another positive HPT. But by mid-day my hopes had been dashed. I started to experience some extremely serious cramps. These are the type of cramps that I usually get the day of AF. Also, after wiping in the bathroom I realized I had yellow CM, and I got that last cycle the day before AF showed her nasty head.

I’m expecting her either tonight or tomorrow and I’m devastated. You know, I’d rather get BFNs than get BFPs that aren’t real. I don’t know what the hell is going on but I know something is not right. I need to see another doctor and find out exactly what’s wrong because I’m tired of this shit.

BFP at 8DPO!!!

readytobeaparent — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:41:41 +0000

Yesterday morning I woke up and took my temp. It had fallen again by 0.1 F (it had fallen the day before that by 0.1 F) so I decided to test b/c I wanted to get a few POAS in before AF came. I used one of those tests that don’t allow you to test midstream, you have to catch your pee in a cup. The only cup I could find in my room was a small candy jar. Expecting to get a BFN I didn’t even think to wash it out with soap, I simply rinsed it with some water, peed in it and tested. At first I only got the control line but as I was there staring at the test, the test line started to appear a little after 2 minutes. I then looked away b/c I thought staring was making me see things. At 5 mins I looked again and lo and behold there was a line at the test section!

I am still in shock about this and haven’t really come to terms with it yet. Especially due to what happened last month. Anyway I will keep you guys posted on what happens next…I don’t have the words to explain the emotions going through me right now.

No more!!!

readytobeaparent — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:31:12 +0000

My original purpose in writing this was to make a promise that for this 2WW I will NOT be stressing about and analyzing every “symptom” that I think indicates pregnancy. I am only 2DPO and I swear I feel like:

1. I’m urinating more often than usual. Which I should have certainly attributed to the weather since it’s colder here than usual.
2. I’m having cramps. Again this is easily explainable, it must be hunger pangs.

I’m obviously getting from bad to worse and I’ve got to stop NOW. So no matter what I think may be an indicator that I’m pg, I’m waiting until I miss my period before I start agonizing over signs. Last cycle I had

1. sore throat
2. extremely sore boobs
3. 2 BFPs

and I still wasn’t pregnant. It was very hard on BF and I thinking I was and then finding out I wasn’t.

Now like I said, that was my original intention but then I thought, why the heck not though? I’m not paying for an FF subscription just for the chart interpretation. I’m also paying for the opportunity it gives me to fuss with other women over our temps, OPKs, 2WWs and yes, our “symptoms”.

So I’m modifying my promise instead: I will not obsess over symptoms WHILE IN THE PRESENCE OF MY BF. I get him all excited and then disappointed when AF shows. So this month I’m going to pretend like it’s business as usual, around him anyway.

This cycle is a bust

readytobeaparent — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:45:38 +0000

I am seriously pissed off this cycle. Let me explain…

Last cycle I ovulated on CD12 (according to FF) so of course I’m thinking that that is the time I usually ovulate. So on CD10 I started BDing and testing using OPK. Can you believe I got negatives and low temps all the way up to CD13?Well anyway, I’m thinking that CD14 would be my O day. CD14 comes and goes, no O. CD15 comes and goes, no O. CD16 comes and goes, no O. So of course by now I’m freaking out and thinking this is an annovulatory cycle and mad that I did all that BDing for nothing and not a little scared that I have fertility issues. CD18 came and I got a big temp rise which in my mind indicates O has occurred although by right I’m to wait until I see 3 days of high temps. Here’s my chart currently:

I’m now in my 2WW which I think will really be an 11 day wait for me since I ovulated this late. Why do I think this cycle is a bust? Because I’ve been reading that late ovulation makes it harder to get pregnant. Apparently the egg is old or something like that, so the probability of implantation is slim at best. Damn, damn, damn. I really thought this was THE cycle.

WOW…grapefruit juice really DOES work

readytobeaparent — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:53:16 +0000

So I’ve heard the talk about using grapefruit juice to increase fertile cervical mucus (CM), but I was a bit skeptical. Anyway, day before yesterday my mom brought home 3 grapefruits and I decided to squeeze 1/2 of one and drink it. I ended up not drinking much of it because it was too sour. But lo and behold, the next day I got EWCM! Bear in mind I had never had it before. So since then I’ve been eating a half grapefruit each day and it’s doing wonders for my CM. Right now I’m so wet and I’m not even aroused.

I hate my doctor, my boyfriend started a blog, and other musings

readytobeaparent — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:32:20 +0000

I had promised to update you guys on why I hate my doctor so here goes. After I got my BFPs and my temps were still high and then AF turned up, I thought perhaps I had a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage so I went to see my doctor (in tears). After checking, he said I wasn’t pregnant and proceeded to give me a lecture on the fact that it was my first time trying (since he and I spoke) and that it takes some people a while, and that it took him and his wife a year, etc., etc. In my mind I’m thinking, ‘so the hell what?’ I told him that my age and ovarian cysts and fibroid are making me worry about not being able to conceive and so I’ve started charting to keep track of my fertile times and to know if I ovulate and such things. I even showed him my chart. Would you believe what the JACKASS did? He took the chart from me and gestured like he was going to throw it in the garbage! Basically he said that charting is nonsense, I’m taking this too seriously, the reason my temps were so high was because the time is hot, etc. Can you believe the jerk? If you’re ignorant about something, DON’T BE IGNORANT ABOUT IT. Confusing statement? Well if you’re not Jamaican then I guess it wouldn’t make sense. What it means is basically if you don’t understand something, it doesn’t mean you should dismiss it as being unimportant, simply say you don’t understand it. Doctors don’t know everything, but they like to pretend they do and that PISSES me off. I’m definitely not going back to him again. I want to go see an OB/GYN next time, but the only one in my area is a male and I really wanted to see a female hoping to get more compassion from a woman than I would get from a man. I’ll keep you guys posted on how that works out.

And now, the good news, my bf has started his own blog! I’m so happy about that, and not a little surprised. I never figured him for a writer but I guess seeing me with my blog made him jealous and want to be able to express his feelings about our TTC experience too, especially since we aren’t talking to anyone about it. The bad news is that he’s not telling me the address cuz he doesn’t want me to read it. He says he’s embarassed by it..LOL. Men can be so silly sometimes especially when it comes to expressing their feelings. But that’s ok, cuz I’ve never made him read mine either. I’m definitely going to do a search though to see if I can find it. Ssshhh, don’t tell him.

I’m really really really hoping that this is THE cycle. I’m trying not to get my hopes up though. The last time I tested the day I expected my period, BIG MISTAKE. When AF came it was like a stab to my heart. This time I’m going to wait until the day after I miss her and I’m not going to have any expectations this time. None. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, we’ll try again. [So I say.]

My legs are tired!

readytobeaparent — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:10:04 +0000

Man, this keeping my legs raised in the air after sex is not my idea of fun! I did it the last cycle and I didn’t get pregnant so I’m SOOO tempted not to do it this cycle.

BF and I had sex last night and after the deed I found it so hard to keep my legs raised for 20-30 minutes which is what persons have suggested. I don’t think I did it for even 15 minutes last night. Plus the cum runs out anyway even if you do make the 30 minutes. I wonder if it really works or it’s just a myth. I hope it works cuz it’s a pain in the bum.

Pre-Ovulation

readytobeaparent — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 13:02:17 +0000

A lot of women TTC complain about the 2WW (2 week wait) where you wait to get your BFN, BFP or AF. But that’s not the time I hate the most. I hate the pre-ovulation stage where you’re on your period waiting for it to finish, and also waiting to do some BDing (baby dancing aka sex). I don’t like this time at all. Come on Fertile days, get here soon!